Raise your kid such that he doesn't become this example.
1. Take the FEAR OF FAILURE away from him.
The fear, that you are instilling in him unknowingly. By saying this:
- Whatever you do, just do your best. Be it studies or games.
- It is important to win the Olympiad. It is the stepping stone for your career.
- Study with the aim of securing first rank. So we can be proud parents.
Saying this instills the fear of failure. Kid aims for perfection, resulting in a stressed outlook.
This is Fear of Failure.
Teach your children so fear of failure never creeps in their mind. By telling them this:
- Do not focus on excelling at everything. It keeps you in a constant state of stress. Do somethings for pure enjoyment. And in fact, do everything for the fun of it.
- What do you think of the Olympiad? I think it is important, but not the most important thing.
- What are you studying? Let's explore how can we apply it practically.
2. Teach him to THINK IN A HEALTHY WAY.
Not anxiously, as you might be doing now.
- Mister, the exams are approaching. You better start worrying!
- Sharmaji's son is a top-ranker. He got a great on-campus placement. What will happen of you? Where will you go with these marks?
- Amend your behavior. You are a grown-up now.
Saying this leads to anxious thinking. Kid is overwhelmed, loaded with inferiority complex and self-consciousness.
This is Anxious thinking.
And there is no other way to teach them this, except to teach yourself this.
- Do not encourage him to think anxiously. He'll learn it in no time, and soon will have anxiety attacks, inhibiting performance.
- Do not compare him to others thinking it'll motivate him. Motivate him by positive means, comparative thinking will take a lifetime toll on him.
- Do not expect him to behave like a grown-up. A 3-yr old will behave like one, and a teenager like one. Accept them as per their age.
3. Teach him to have a POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE.
Again, do not teach him this.
- You are considered doing well only when you get good grades.
- Why can't you be more like your sister? She's such a good kid and gets a first in everything.
- Read faster
- Write faster.
- Run faster.
- Do it faster.
This teaching promotes negative self-image. Synonymous with low self- worth and self-esteem.
This is Negative self-image.
So, teach yourself this.
- Do not pressurize children with too much focus on grades or rewards.
- Remember that he can't be like his sister. Each person is different. Are you doing this so you have to deal with only one personality?
- Do not pressurize the kid to be faster in everything he does. Each kid learns at his own pace.
Teaching yourself these things will raise a kid who is free from this negative thought:
What will happen if… I fail…
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